listenin to: rmr 89.7fm
workin on: getting my wednesday started
so i've been toying with the thoughts that are due to splurge out into this blog, since yesterday. i still haven't quite figured out how to say what i have been thinking about and the words are all a jumble in my head, even as i sit here. irony of all ironies... i close up like a clam when i need to vocalise my thoughts the most.
i have found myself in the middle of some conversations where things just dont make complete sense and in places where one and one just doesn't add to two. and a driving factor in this is the fact that no matter how patient or careful i try and be with my ideas and opinions, sometimes it is almost like speaking to an already made up mind. no, let me rephrase that i do speak to already made up minds. i have found myself running into too many right or wrong answers where there is absolutely no blurring line, too many "this is the only way, so take a hike" and even more tragically "i'm hearing you but i'm not even listening". now don't get me wrong, i am not saying that standing by one's ideals and values is silly and wrong. it has just intrigued me as to how this can be blindly followed. be it right or wrong, mislead or misguided, that is how it feels. because you see, a gut reaction is just that, it does not fit into a neatly clad box of a right and wrong way of thinking.
a while ago i finally saw the full value of choosing one's battles very wisely. and now i'm there, i get it. so that is probably what has kept me going through the frustrations. but it is hectically sore and very argh-like to deal with. somedays i feel like leaving people to be with similar people who think the same things and do the same things and are the same, only the same, nothing different, where it is all pretty, tranquil and idyllic, until people like me come in and upset the equilibrium. but then again the berlin wall wasn't broken in a day.
today i like: walks... glorious walks and amanda's show
today i dislike: sleepless nights
1 comment:
I hope I'm not someone you make feel like this, but I expect I am! Not listening is not okay, so please just clip me over the ear and tell me when I am being pig-headed. Its usually better to talk about things, I reckon, coz even if you end up not agreeing, you better understand the person you disagree with :)
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